WARNING: This post is very #hashtagheavy. There are still some people in our World that are not familiar with what this whole hashtag thing means. They will possibly read this post and think I have lost my mind and am speaking in some sort of secret code. NO WORRIES WORLD, The hashers out there (social media experts) KNOW exactly what I am talking about #winkwink
What do you do for a living? Typically what they MEAN is,
What is the job that you spend 8 to 10 hours a day doing that provides a paycheck that's barely enough to live on?
I don't like this question and all its undertones and the way people look at you (or make you feel) when you say:
Oh, I'm Retired. I DO all the things I am passionate about for 16 to 20 hours a day and DON'T GET PAID!
O.M.G. is the look on their face. Sometimes the look just says O.P.Y. (Oh Poor YOU). Sometimes it is followed up with the clarifying question:
OK. But what do you do to pay the bills?
My response is then:
I am Retired from the Air Force. I get a check for services already rendered and it pays for things that already happened (credit card bills). I am #blessed to have an awesome husband that supports me, both financially and emotionally. God actually gave him to me and I never even asked for him. Yep, He is the BEST THING I NEVER KNEW I ALWAYS WANTED. I was an independent single parent working 12 hour shifts in the Military when he was dropped in my lap. I had just come out of 6 years in an abusive relationship where the mental abuse was daily and constant, the physical happened at the very end. It was the last straw for me. The funny thing about that is, once I was literally beaten down by his hands, I had the courage and strength to stand UP and leave him with my feet. Being pregnant with my second child gave me the courage to leave him in order to save THEM. To take from my favorite show "So You Think You Can Dance", Cue music:
These boots were made for walking, that's just what they'll do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over YOU........(cue dancers and let's do this GIRLS!!!!!)
Well, all this dancing has made me lose my chain of thought! GREAT. Where the heck was I?????? Oh Yeah, "What do you do for a living". So I decided to really give it some thought. Just because I don't NEED a paycheck doesn't mean I am not earning one. I work #straightup for Jesus and he pays me in ways you can't even imagine. His perks are worth far more than your paycheck. In case you are busy singing the Paula Abdul classic STRAIGHT UP now in your head, you can thank me later. I'm constantly inspired by songs, movies, signs---like road signs, living signs, etc. Haley Joel Osment saw Dead People in the movie Sixth Sense. I see live signs---throw a hashtag on that BABY! #youseedeadpeopleIseelivingsigns
I've been told by many different people that I should be many different things. Here are just a few examples:
-You are so good with Travel Advice, you should be a Travel Agent. (but then I am stuck in an office or behind a computer as a Home Travel Agent and I am MAKING travel plans for other people all day long and not really getting to travel much myself. That ones no good)
-You should totally be a Travel Blogger! (yep, I currently AM sort of that. However I am an #epicfail at it because the first rule of thumb is: you need to find a niche and stick with it--not gonna happen in my World. You can't tell me to whittle down my passions and just pick one. YOU are not the boss of me-HA!)
-You are so stinkin' funny, you should be a Comedian. (yeah but I don't like people LOOKING at me. I love to make people laugh and will literally do just about anything for it, but I don't like people looking at me, JUDGING ME, so that one is OUT)
-You love Old People and Traveling and taking them on cool trips, you should be an Elder Hostel Leader. (but some old people are cranky and smell bad and I don't want to deal with all that)
-You are great at making up itineraries and then taking people on super fun trips, you should be a Private Tour Guide. (THIS one I do actually do)
-You are such a good Photographer, you should focus on that (see how clever I am--using the word "FOCUS" when talking about Photography)
-You are so good at coming up with slogans and ideas, you should be in Advertising, Marketing, Branding,..........You missed your calling. You could make a fortune.
-You are so good with babies and little kids, you are like a #babywhisperer (that one is my creation). You should work in a Day Care or start up your own Day Care Business.
-You are so crafty and talented with making things, you should sell your stuff.
-You have so much to say and it's ALL SO GOOD, you should totally write a book and be a Best Selling Author.
-You should be on Oprah and just TALK about stuff! (that one is a personal favorite actually)
Blah, Blah, Blah! STOP THE MADNESS and QUIT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!!!
While I am flattered that "they" think I could actually BE all these things, I have no desire to sit or work in an office all day and just be ONE. I prefer to live by my own rules and I like variety in my life. Therefore, I will continue to DO all these things I love, and just BE MYSELF. I just want to be the #bestme I can be and leave the World a better place when it's time for me to retire my #spiritinthesky. However, all this contemplating led me to a new career that I never even thought of. I have been attending some workshops and events with Bloggers lately. That is what I currently do, so apparently I am a #blogger. One of the speakers at the last one I attended in San Antonio was Stacy Teet of KSW. She is known as the Queen of Pinterest. She is actually a Professional Pinner! Yeah, don't ask me what it is exactly because I can't tell you. All I know is that it sounds like the COOLEST JOB EVER!!!
What do you do?
Stacy: Oh, I'm a #professional PINNER. I just sit around all day and pin awesome crap all over Pinterest. When you see the really good stuff there, thats ME! Just using my keen eye and finding cool things that line up with different companies. I pin for them. I actually get paid to pin it. Its kind of like the best #newversion of pin the tail on the donkey. Only there is no donkey on the wall and no sharp pin in a blindfolded persons hand #safetyfirst.
Now those are MY words and not Stacy's. It's my version of an answer for her. Like if I were her Ventriloquist or something. She would NEVER use the word "crap" when describing her pins. I am only using it to add humor and emphasis.
Lately I have had a love affair with hashtags. I tend to be long winded when telling a story (and I LOVE to tell a story----great, add that one to my long list of jobs I CAN DO: Master StoryTeller). I have fallen head over heels with creating hashtags for just about everything. Its like I am taking a full length feature story and just cutting out all the crap to make it as short and sweet as possible #hashtagstory. I have now come up with the PERFECT JOB FOR ME:
Professional Hash Tagger!!!!! To shorten it and make it have more of a #directpunchline, lets just go with #prohasher.
YEP, the next time someone asks me What I do for a living, I am going to keep it short and simple:
ANSWER: Oh, I am just a Pro Hasher Baby! I create HashTags ALL day long and have more fun in 2 hours than you have in 2 weeks--on a VACATION! #hashtag4life #hashtagging4aliving
Wanna know the really cool thing about it? The internet will be tracking all my little #hashtagbabies for me. There will be a record (dated) with all the #hashtagcreations I have PUT OUT THERE in CyberLand so the World has access to them. Someone with more money than me can steal my hashtag and pay to trademark it and actually profit FINANCIALLY from my idea. Well, if they already have the money to BUY IT, they really shouldn't be STEALING it from me. That will be the next form of #whitecollarcrime. Smart people in business suits CHEATING and stealing someone else's BRAIN MATTER. Oh well, the good thing about my thoughts is
THEY JUST KEEP COMING!!!!!! The BEST thing about my thoughts is I want to share them with YOU, all of you. So I #hashtagforyou!
My name is The #Joyful Journeyist (I did buy the trademark for that one--its not only ME, its MINE. That means I own it--I OWN ME. You can't have me so quit trying to kidnap me and my words). I am just a #grownupgoldilocks trying to find the #hashtaghumor in #justrightliving. That is who I am, it is what I do. You can take THAT to the Bank and Keep the #CHANGE!
#hashtagOUT (the new and improved way of saying Peace Out)